Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Malapropism of the Day

I was talking to my dad today, who told me that he recently talked with the nurse from his doctor's office about farmland, etc.

"Yeah, she said her friend owns 10 acres and breeds Pakis."

*pause* "What??"

"She breeds Pakis."

"She breeds brown people?? I'm so confused!"

"You know, those animals like llamas?"


At that point we both lost it and started cracking up. My dad is awesome.

Monday, February 27, 2006


This weekend ended up being a bit of a disappointment in some ways. I hung out with a friend on Friday after work, and then came home and watched Ice Age with Dan. It is a surprisingly cute movie; I genuinely enjoyed it. I like how Dan has such diverse taste in movies; one day he's watching the Pianist, another and its Amelie on the TV screen, the next its Ice Age. Very nice.

Unfortunately, he took NyQuil that night and didn't wake up until 4 pm on Saturday. He needed the sleep though, to finally kill off his cold. We didn't get to run all of our errands that day because of it, but I got the chance to do something I hadn't done in too long: read a book from cover to cover in one day. This weekend's book: Marley and Me -- Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog." It was a lovely book. I laughed and cried and everything in between, punctuated by several "AWWWW!"s. It makes me yearn for a puppy. I should be careful, though. Puppyhood is only a step away from motherhood, and I'm definitely not sure about THAT. We then had a great sushi dinner at our favorite Japanese restaurant (what better way to eat on a Saturday?).

We went to FLARF on Sunday (FLoridA Renaissance Festival) because a friend begged us to. Once we were there, we couldn't find her for a few hours. Once we did find her, it started pouring down rain. That, combined with the cold front that followed it, combined with the smoke, incense, and "privy-stench," I pretty much vomited the afternoon away, both in the car and at home. I should have known it all along: Renfaires make me sick. (For those of you who don't know, I'm a recovering Rennie -- and living with one as well) I miraculously woke up feeling good enough to go to work today, at least.

But overall? Life is good. I'm young, in love, and have someone to enjoy the world with. Does it get any better than this?

Friday, February 24, 2006

The little things...

I was just reading an article on CNN.com about business-y stuff (I'm so technical, I know), and I read the following: "This trend – the emergence of smaller specialty sites – is expected to continue this year. In other words, there's a lot more to the Web than Google and Yahoo!" It reminded me of something that has bothered me for awhile, but I've never vocalized about Yahoo! Why! Do! They! Need! The! Exclamation! Point! You can't put it in the middle of a sentence, because then it looks like you don't know the basic rules of punctuation, and when my eye gets to it on the screen, they sort of cross a bit, trying to figure out why the sentence structure is so weird until I remember that it is Yahoo! who is weird (see what I mean about the eyes? Mine totally crossed just writing that grammatical drivel). And if you move the Yahoo! to the end, it looks like you are being way too enthusiastic. And sometimes that is entirely inappropriate. "The online site with the worst earnings this period was Yahoo!" You see? And I won't even get into the awful grammar behind trying to make Yahoo! possess something, because some things, like "Yahoo!'s" should NEVER be thrown against someone's hapless eyes.

Another problematic name: eBay. Little e, big fucking B, small ay. At least here you can assume that the "e" stands for something, and that it is a cute marketing thing. Like electronic. But electronic Bay? How the hell can a Bay be electronic? You see, it just makes no sense.

You can definitely tell that it is Friday from the randomness of my thoughts. At least you can expect that sort of thing in a blog, as opposed to the workplace, where your senior editor may look at you like you're insane for suddenly turning around and spouting off a rant about Yahoo! and eBay. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Onto something of more consequence, my sister's husband has gotten his new assignment (he's in the military), and *drumroll*... they are moving to Florida! They'll be within a few hours of me for the first time in almost 6 years, and I can't wait. That means that I can be near for the kids' birthdays, holidays, or just a weekend with the family. I've been bouncing around for two days because of this development. YAY! And who wouldn't want to be near cuties like this?

Meet Christopher:


And Anthony: (who really is a little boy, despite his amazing resemblance to an elf)

Christopher, the oldest, is 6 years old. Because of that, he thinks he is master of all that is cool and smart. Case in point: He dressed as Darth Vader for Halloween, but the picture I'd seen of him had him in an Anakin Skywalker outfit that he'd gotten for his birthday. So when he told me he'd dressed as Darth Vader and I told him I thought he was Anakin, he gave a world-weary sigh, as if exasperated with my stupidity, and said "No, Tia. They're the SAME PERSON. Don't you know anything?" Cheeky little brat. But I love him anyway (or because). Anyway, I talked to him on the phone yesterday and he only wants to hear knock knock jokes. Unfortunately I can only remember the banana/orange one. Can you readers help me out? Pretty please?

In other news, I actually get to leave work at a reasonable hour now, as opposed to marathon 10-12 hour days. I feel so spoiled, because I now get home by 7ish and have at least 4 whole hours to spend with Dan and STILL get a full night's sleep for the next day. I've cooked real meals and gone for walks and to the gym all after work -- something that has felt impossible for a couple of months. Having a normal work schedule is something I've missed.

So all in all, with the promise of my sister's family moving much closer and being able to spend real time with Dan, it has been a good week.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

A happy tale with a sad ending

I once heard the saying "A dog is a happy tale with sad ending." And its true; today my sister called to tell me that our dog, Freckles, died today. Freckles was our family dog, and we'd had him since I was ten years old. While he was friendly to everyone, he was mostly my dad's companion. We always joked that my dad wanted a male dog to be his "son" after having four [human] daughters. I was strangely calm after talking to my sister. Freckles was over 12 years old; he'd had a good, long life, especially for his breed. I'll miss him, but I sort of expected this to happen soon. He was blind and deaf for the last year of his life, but had an impeccable sense of smell. As soon as someone entered the yard, Freckles would lift his head and sniff for a moment and inevitably trot on over, straight as an arrow, to say hello. He was just a cool, friendly dog.

What I wasn't prepared for was talking to my father. He is home alone, because my mom is visiting my sister in North Dakota. The one thing that will always get me upset is hearing my father upset. He's never hid his emotions, but he's never often lost himself in them. When I called him, he was crying. He sounded heartbroken, and he was alone. Under normal circumstances, I'd want to take a few days off of work and go up there to be with him right away, if anything to just keep him company. But I am already taking at least a week off for Dad's surgery in a month. And it kills me that he's grieving over Freckles with no one there to talk to. I hate not being able to be somewhere to support someone when they need it.

How can I help Dad handle all the surging emotions he'll feel after the surgery when it upsets me so much to see him like this? Can I really be strong enough to help him through this? Knowing myself, I'll push everything I feel aside until it is over, and then feel it all at once. (Like mother like daughter, really) I know this isn't the healthiest way, but what other way is there? The most important thing will be my father's recovery, not my temporary mental health. I'm just lucky to have the support of so many people on my end. My friends got together and bought me a phone card so I can call them when I go up for the surgery, because there is no cell phone reception on the farm. Emily has listened to any concerns I've told her, and has reasonable, supportive, honest things to say about them. Dan has been incredible; he's going up to the farm with me for the surgery, and I know he'll do a lot to calm me down during The Wait.

I just still feel unsettled about the surgery, and knowing how lonely and sad my father is right now somehow makes my fears about the surgery worse. Any reminder of mortality is unwelcome right now to anyone in our family. I don't want to think it anymore, or fear it anymore. I just want this whole ordeal to be over.

And it wouldn't hurt to be able to cuddle with my dog when I go to the farm. I guess my dad won't be the only one who will be missing Freckles. He's the black and white one in the front.
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Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Just call me "Casper"

I usually sleepwalk through my morning ritual of getting ready for work. I pick out my clothes the night before (usually) so all I have to do in the morning is stumble out of bed, get dressed, brush teeth, and head out the door. My system works well; I get ready quickly, everything matches, is clean, unwrinkled, and fairly nice-looking. Today, however, my system failed. Yes, I have one of my better-looking work outfits on. I even have new, nerdy, editor-y glasses. What my blurry eyes did NOT see in the mirror this morning is the giant WELT on my neck. I apparently live with a vampire. Which I don't mind (quite the contrary, really), but the marks usually aren't that... dark? visible? glaring from the opening of my collar? Either way, I didn't understand my coworker's horrified look until I went to the restroom and saw it. But I thought of a solution! While on my lunch break, I went to the drug store and bought emergency concealer and powder. As usual, I got the lightest shade I could find: Ivory. You know, the last color you can get on the pale end of the spectrum only because they don't sell "Corpse."

It was too dark. Not just a smidge too dark, but noticeably an entirely different color than my neck. Judging by this, I must make Snow White look like a California beach volleyball player.

At least Snow White lived in an undisclosed forest in a Europe-like region. A place where they saw snow, or else she's have been Cloud White or something. I live in Miami. The place that celebrates a groundhog seeing its shadow because it means six more weeks of tourist booms.

I am definitely the worst Floridian ever.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Stuff 'n' Nonsense

I got my first official linking from my good friend Emily (Young, Married, and Stuck in Cleveland). Now I feel pressured to write something brilliantly funny. Unfortunately, I've had the work week from hell, so my brain is on the rather fuzzy side right now. I'll never write extensively about work, because, well, I don't want to be dooced. I actually love my job, and don't want anything to happen to it. Let it suffice to say that I edit Stuff that goes to Latin America. Which means that Spanish and Portuguese are my main specialties, so if I slip up on English every now and then, it can't be held against me. Okay, maybe it can, but I think that all people should be able to make up words now and then... even unintentionally.

Since I'm drawing a blank on the funny today, how about the mildly disturbing? At least, it is mildly disturbing for me. Others may find it funny. I know Emily did.

I can never go to the doctor without something horribly embarassing happening. When I went for my Special Girly Exam last year, I'm sure you can imagine my surprise and discomfort when the person who walked in wasn't my normal doctor. In fact, it was worse: it was my friend's MOTHER. I went ahead with the exam because my job at the time made it very difficult to take time off and no one else could see me. Besides, it wasn't like I knew her very well... just as well as you CAN know someone you've met a couple of times, is the mother of one of your better friends, and who happens to be looking into your cervix. That friend has luckily since moved to Scotland, so I haven't been over to their house since the exam. Because "patient confidentiality" means nothing to their family.

But I've since changed my insurance coverage and am going back to my old family doctor... which I'm happy about, because he acts like a human instead of an M.D. And then I remembered. It is almost that time of year again, so soon this man, too, will have seen my crotch. And he'd be the only man in the world to have seen both my cervix and my mother's. And I can't pinpoint exactly why, but I find that mildly disturbing. As long as he doesn't start talking about family resemblances or something, I think I'll be okay. Just a little weirded out.