Monday, January 30, 2006

This, too, will pass

This weekend was nice and relaxing. Which I think everyone needed. My office's holiday party was on Friday (haha, yeah, we apparently run on Cuban time for EVERYTHING here). Dan couldn't go, so I went after work (didn't leave work until 8... party started at 7). I circled for parking for THIRTY MINUTES without finding a spot. I even stopped at a valet place, and they told me they didn't have anything. So unless I wanted to park in Egypt and walk through Beirut, Venezuela, and the Hanging Gardens of Babylon to the restaurant (its near Switzerland), there was no way in hell I was going to find a parking spot.

So home I went, and from there Dan and I watched a bit of mindless TV before going to Fritz and Franz in the Gables to eat dinner and have drinks with Lisa, John, Andy, and Kim. Good food there, too. Dan made me try this shot called a Killabisch (spelling off, I'm sure, but that is because German is stupid). It tasted like rubbing alcohol, but left a strangely refreshing taste in my mouth the rest of the night. And probably burned a hole into my stomach, too.

And on Saturday, Dan and I had a very small gathering at our place to welcome home John. It was pretty nice overall. I always enjoy an opportunity to show off our home. Even if it ended up smelling like cigar smoke at the end of the night from the men being Manly Men (but not in Tights) and retiring to the balcony to smoke cigars in a strangely 18th century manner. Of course, that left us womenfolk in the apartment with all the alcohol, Eddie Izzard, and cookies. Hmmm. Somehow I think we got the better end of the deal. Just saying.
I thought about heading up to the Boynton Beach festival to see various people perform, but, well, that was really far and it was a lot easier to sleep in late FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE and enjoy a lazy afternoon with Dan. I feel like I got the best of all worlds this weekend... went out on Friday, had people over Saturday, and had Cathy-Dan time on Sunday. It was wonderful. After all the weekends we've been spending lately on home projects, being lazy and indulgent for a weekend was exactly what we needed. Especially with both of us being so worried about my dad.

We still don't know when the surgery will be (it looks like it will be scheduled when Dad goes to the surgeon on Thursday). I'll admit it... I'm scared of what may happen. I just want someone to tell me that it will all be okay, and mean it. And know it, somehow. I know that my main problem is that I read too much, and Dr. Google is entirely too informative about all the weird things that can happen in surgery and recovery for me to rest easy at night with my overactive imagination. I want to be strong for my parents, because I know they're going to need me. I want to be prepared for anything that can happen, whether it be good or bad. I don't deal well with spontaneity and unplannedness, especially in matters such as these. No, dammit, I want everything to go perfectly, as accoding to schedule. I'm sure you can imagine how little this happens with anything in life. And oh boy, does it ever scare the crap out of me.

Right now the waiting bothers me more than anything else. This in-between state is terrible. I just want to KNOW what will happen and when, not this limbo stage. In some ways, I'd rather know the worst than imagine it. Knowing that my dad will be having open-heart surgery is heart-rending in some ways. I just feel lucky to have such a wonderful family and incredible friends who have already shown their support or asked if they could help. Even my coworkers are being great about this, telling me to not worry about work and just focus on helping my dad recover when the time comes. And I can't even find words to describe how awesome Dan is being about all of this, brainstorming how he can get time off of work to go with me to Lake City when the surgery takes place, etc. I don't know what I've ever done to deserve Dan in my life, but thank goodness he's by my side.

I just have to keep in mind that this, too, will pass.

1 comment:

Chickin Noodle said...

I hope everything is okay with your dad. I know how it feels to worry about your parents. I always thought my dad was unstoppable until he ended up in the hospital. Even though I knew it was nothing serious, the sight of him with an IV and tubes made me cry.

I will be thinking about you and your father.